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In the world today, many people believe forgiveness means excusing sin, or ignoring sin. This is NOT what forgiveness is. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother". God wants wrongdoing and sin confronted, not ignored. Ephesians 5:11 "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them", 

Forgiveness does not excuse or condone sin. Forgiveness does not endorse sinful behavior, or make excuses for sin by using one of the most misinterpreted scriptures. "Thou shalt not judge". Forgiveness is NOT saying, "what was done to me is alright". 

Forgiveness is NOT saying "Get over it, and move on". Forgiveness does NOT mean looking the other way, and ignoring bad behavior in the name of "love", which is not love. Hebrews 12:6 "For the LORD disciplines those He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives".

Forgiveness does NOT always mean reconciliation or having a relationship with the person who caused harm.

So, what is forgiveness, and how does one forgive?

Forgiveness is releasing the debt, the payment, the owing for the wrong. In other words, it is releasing the desire to be "paid back"for the wrong someone or others have done. 

It is letting go of revenge, vindictiveness, hatred, "pay-back" mentality, and giving the wrong done to the LORD. It  means acknowledging the wrong, and even confronting the sin, but without revenge. 

Forgiveness is releasing any hatred, gossip, anger and bitterness, which can be done through prayer and giving Jesus the pain. The process takes time, and does not happen overnight unless through a miracle. 

Forgiveness is learning to pray for the person who caused tremendous harm. The prayer can be simple such as:

Dear LORD: I pray for _______ to have an authentic relationship with you. I pray where they, he/she are blind, they will see, where they are deaf, they will hear, where they have hatred, fill them with love, and I pray they will seek you with all their heart, with all their soul, with all their mind, and I pray the same for myself in Jesus name. 

Forgiveness is trusting the LORD to make all things right. Forgiveness is believing God is a God of justice and HE will vindicate and make all things pure again. (Psalm 11:7)

Forgiveness is leaning on CHRIST ALONE to repair the brokenhearted, to restore the devastation, to turn ashes into beauty and bring justice to all evil. (Isaiah 61:4)

Forgiveness is blessing those who cause harm just as God lets the sun shine on the evil and the good (Matthew 5:45). Blessing those who cause harm means to pray for them without hatred in the heart (1 Peter 3:9). Praying for people who hurt you actually heals the heart.

Forgiveness is trusting the LORD to vindicate the wrong. (Deuteronomy 32:36, Job 13:18, Psalm 7:8)

Finally, forgiveness is trusting in Jesus Christ to come again in great power and glory (Mark 13:26) and knowing HE will judge all evil. He will make all things new and pure. 

We can have the comfort of knowing evil will not last. The day will come when all evil is destroyed through our Savior Jesus Christ.

Online Christian Counseling and Christian Life Coaching provides Christian tools and Biblical truth in order to help people heal. Online therapy can help in the process of forgiveness. Christian counseling is available through online video chat or by phone.

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